Losing Nemo

I don't handle death well. I have an especially hard time dealing with the fact that I'm a pet killer--a serial pet killer in fact.
As a freshman in college, I was given a fish as a gift from my "boyfriend" at the time. I was having a bad day and it was supposed to make me feel better. I can't say it worked, because seventeen hours later, my fish was dead, and I was even more sad than before. What's worse is that a fifty cent fish outlived our relationship,  hence why "boyfriend" is best put in quotations.
After a beautiful candlelit funeral for Squishy the fish, I bought myself four new fish and one frog. Within days, my fish tank had turned from aquatic home to battle ground. The fish ate the frog, then turned on each other, leaving only two survivors. Out of those two, one committed suicide by jumping from the tank during cleaning.
You would think I would have given up, but not quite yet.
Just a few days later my boss told me she wanted to start a fish tank at work, and I strongly supported this idea.
The new tank was quickly up and running, but after a few months, Betsy was the only fish left.
It was my turn to clean the fish tank (now that I think about it, it was always my turn to clean the fish tank--weird).
Anyway, this time while cleaning the tank, I brought Betsy over to the sink to return her back to her clean, shiny home. Somehow, in this process, Betsy leaped from the tank and into the sink, landing on the bars of the drain. I reacted as quickly as i could to grab Betsy before she slipped down the drain, but I was not fast enough.
Betsy smacked her tiny tail against the cold damp drain, launching herself into the air. Her fishy body repositioned itself in the air, so that when she fell back down towards the drain, she fit perfectly between the gaps of the drain, disappearing into the plumbing below.
I didn't know how to react, and after a few seconds of stunned silence, I began laughing so intensely I had to cry.
My boss is still upset with me despite how many times I remind her, "All drains lead to the ocean."